#34 — Speed
This is part of an illustrated countdown of my 49 1/2 most essential action movies. Last week I talked about one of the best franchise revivals ever, Universal Soldier: Regeneration
Pop quiz, hotshot! I slowly gain ground, unassuming, filled with characters, constantly moving. What am I? You were gonna say a bus. No, I’m sorry. It’s the 1994 hit movie Speed, starring a bus, Keanu Reeves, Sandra Bullock, and Dennis Hopper. *detonates a Honda Pilot* I didn’t want to do that, reader, but you left me no choice. I left you all the clues. Screw up again and I blow up a Pep Boys. Now keep reading and do as I say.
Jan de Bont is mostly known for his cinematography (Turkish Delight, Basic Instinct, Roar), but his directorial debut is among his finest achievements. Its ambitions are beautifully simple in the same way as a perfect three minute pop song. It’s just the right amount of a craving being satisfied by a sugar rush that can disappear as quickly as it came, and you welcome it every time it comes back. It’s the populist action classic that doesn’t wear out it’s welcome even though everyone is familiar with it. Year after year on The Billboard Top 40 of American action cinema. MTV Movie Award For Best Kiss winner. Golden Globe for Most Heroic Death of a Sidekick. Its achievements are many.
Speed is fun, vibrant, and incredibly watchable. You might get addicted to Speed and resent its absence. It might turn into one of those annual traditions that you watch to honor the day you got your drivers license, or totaled your Nissan Altima because a senior citizen in a yellow Camaro blindly pulled out on front of you in the middle of rush hour traffic and dared you to brake under wet conditions while Crom could only watch and laugh (You can wonder about why that one is so specific). I don’t really care what the occasion is, you just don’t go Speeding once, you do it again and again, because like many things, it feels good. It’s the ultimate good vibes action flick.
Speed is timeless and pure, much like its two lead actors. Jack Traven (Keanu Reeves) is the Steve Rogers of John McClanes, a fearless boy scout who’s one-liners feel like a boy trying on his dad’s clothes. He is the essence of heroic innocence. His co-pilot is Annie (Sandra Bullock) and her plucky optimism and teamwork is on a level usually reserved for talking animals in a Dreamworks movie. Together, they will melt the hearts of audiences while foiling the plans of vindictive serial bombers, such as Howard Payne (Dennis Hopper) and myself — UNLESS YOU KEEP READING.
The film’s premise relies on one simple gimmick; that a mad bomber could force a bus to maintain a high speed for a good chunk of the movie’s runtime, or else it blows up. That’s really all it needs. Characters are sketched quickly and effectively without ever mucking things up with PLOT. Plot is for right lane drivers and action tourists. We’ve got a date with Speed and we can’t be late. We are riding a pyrotechnic rocket ship to an off-ramp with no exit and no alternative but to jump into the third act with enough momentum to sustain us even after the tank is empty.
If I’m ever in a hostage situation, I think Jack Traven is the guy I want coming to my rescue, all due respect to other action cops. He’s an overachiever gunning for a scholarship at Action Cinema University, he’s a straight A student of straight shooting, he’s extremely polite and open to any feedback, and I want to get home in one piece. Guaranteed results with no complaints, and he’ll probably throw in a beautifully written Thank You card for allowing him the opportunity to help the community. I want Annie to be my copilot for every mission in life, I think we could take over the world and make them all fall in love with us for doing it. Maybe our partnership wouldn’t last, because relationships based on intense experiences never work — but if we based it on watching Speed, I think it could be something special.
