#3 — Terminator 2: Judgement Day
This is part of an illustrated countdown of my 49 1/2 most essential action movies. When it’s complete, I will diminish and go into the West and remain
Galadriel, but these important films will remain. Last week I talked about a John Woo masterpiece so electric you can get it at Best Buy (look in the movie section), Hard Boiled.
If action movies were Infinity Gems, this would be one of the six (Is it six? Who cares). One of the great modern works of human civilization, as envisioned by St. James Francis Aliens Cameron. An action blockbuster of extreme technical proficiency, cinematic panache, and something resembling Spielbergian adventure mixed with cold steel and explosives. These are some of the early stomping grounds for Promethean power and ambition.
The first thing to know about the life of St. James (JFC for short) is that he made a little movie called Terminator. Then he made a sequel to someone else’s little movie called Alien, and called it “Aliens”. After setting up the necessary pieces, he arrived at the place we are now, where the Aliens-ification of his very own Alien (Terminator) could happen, but he didn’t call it “Terminators” — he dubbed it T2: Judgement Day, just to keep us on our toes. Ever since then, other directors have been the beneficiaries of the “Aliens Act” wherein they are given the free opportunity to cash in on one free sequel using the Aliens template. *
*only good once per franchise, per director.
So this is the bigger, faster, harder experience of Terminating that we all love, but instead of a sci-fi horror movie, it’s a sci-fi action movie — the Aliens to Terminator’s Alien. That’s poetry, baby. That’s Tee-Two.
Some people have described this as an R-rated kids movie, and I don’t know if that was an insult, but it kind of makes sense and I think I like the film even more now. If you saw this when you were young, it might have felt like an 80s fantasy story with some kind of metallic Groot figure protecting his surrogate family from the scariest thing in the world — a liquid metal cop with sword arms. If you watch it as an adult, maybe you follow the more cynical Sarah Connor POV — fighting to preserve your decency and protect future generations in a world where the grownups are preoccupied with making robot cops with sword arms.
The T-800 is a bridge between the wonder and determination of John’s perspective and the cynical, weary mindset of his mom. He’s a very matter-of-fact reminder of the mission, the urgency, and the cost of failure. The stakes are so high in this movie. Sarah Connor’s nightmare of an Earth destroyed by nuclear fire is one of the most unsettling depictions of warfare and mass destruction ever put to screen. It plays on the fears of both the young and old. But the characters respond with a refusal to accept that fate.
I don’t buy this notion that T2 went soft with Hollywood tendencies because it made Arnold a good guy or whatever. This movie is raw. Sarah is fighting for the future of humanity, and maybe at the cost of her own. She’s transformed from waitress to soldier. Her son has inherited her burden as an adolescent, and their protective “uncle” tears the flesh off his metal arm to show people what they’re up against — when not deadpanning uncomfortable truths (“You’re foster parents are dead”). I think it’s a testament to Arnold’s unique talents that he plays two distinctly different versions of robot in these movies. One is terrifying, like a mobile HAL 9000 with guns. The other is a mirror of mankind’s potential for destruction or mercy, projecting whatever we program into it.
Arnold’s hulking killer from the first film is substituted with the brilliant inversion that is Robert Patrick’s T-1000. He is unforgettable. A shape-shifting, emotionless, avatar for conformity, authority, and oppression. His liquid metal design is such a conceptual leap forward that they’re still aping it today, frantically trying to figure out how to create another malleable, metal monster that is somehow different.
T2 is not afraid to comfort us, but it will also stab characters through the head and poor Galleria employees will end up in the wrong place at the wrong time. It has lots of moments that are like Elliot’s gang of friends flying on bikes, but instead of the cops’ guns being digitally replaced with walkie talkies, they gave E.T. a shotgun and some sick one-liners. This movie is so good it makes scenes of graphic violence feel like the NeverEnding Story where that kid is chasing bullies with his luck dragon. This movie is so good it gives a robot fight the weight and power of a kaiju battle. This movie is so good I didn’t even talk about the action scenes, but “hasta la vista, baby” is one of the greatest hero moments ever. This movie is SO. GOOD.
I think this is an extremely essential action sequel, and was in fact necessary. More necessary than me, possibly. I’m pretty glad that I’m here, I’m sure my parents thought the script was great. Though I doubt many folks were clamoring for me, or a sequel to me. And if I were not made, all those memories, dreams, and joys of life would be lost, like tears in a steel mill.
Did you hear what they did at the Academy Awards, they gave it to that Lamb movie, can you believe that? I mean, I’m not gonna say T2 is better, but yeah it is. They should retroactively transfer all the boat movie Oscars to this. The FX are stitched together in a collage of different mediums and techniques, presenting an archive of outstanding visual achievement. The best actor was Arnold’s leather jacket, and the best supporting actor was the whistling grenade launcher that turned liquid metal into an art installation to be displayed at the MOMA. Best original screenplay was a box of roses concealing a shotgun, and the best original score was Brad Fidel’s inhuman, yet soulful recordings of ghosts in the machine. I give this movie a Golden Grenade award for most beautiful destruction in a major motion picture, a AAH (Aliens Act Honor) for best sequel, a kiss on the cheek so it knows it’s loved, a high five to know it has a friend, and a thumbs up for doing such a good job being so great.
